Happy Dad

While I was looking for something in my desk drawer the other day, I found two pages that I had stapled together and put in there several years ago. It was from a book I had read written by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn, For Men Only . On page 93, they relate a story from a woman who grew up in a large family in Flint, Michigan.
She talked about when they were little, they lived in a small house. The neighborhood wasn’t great, but she loved her life. She said, “My dad was a happy dad. When he was home from work, we’d all play. He was so fun to be around.”
She goes on to say that when she was eleven, her dad wanted to provide a better future for them. Rather than picking another house and moving out of the city, he decided to have a special home built. To pay for it he had to do a lot more work, but he said it was worth it.
But he didn’t realize what the extra stress would do to him and the children. She said, “The stress of juggling everything began to wear my dad down. We lost happy dad, and instead found grumpy dad. He stopped playing with us so much, and he was just on edge a lot, not relaxed and fun. I now know that he was sacrificing himself to provide a better future for us kids, but we wanted him much more than we wanted the new house or better schools. We just wanted happy dad back.”
She said that if the children had been given a choice of the little home in Flint with happy dad or the bigger country home with grumpy dad, it would have been no contest. They all would have chosen happy dad.
I think the financial lesson is clear. When making financial
decisions, never forget to weigh the non-financial aspects of life that are
more important. The trade-off for nicer stuff is not always worth the price. After
all, money is just the means to an end, not the end.
Added Thought
I was looking at my daughter’s Instagram page recently and
found the title picture of her and me on the ranger. In her notes about the picture, she disclosed some quotes she attributes to me. She says,
- I thought it was about time some of my all-time favorite quotes from my dad be publicized: "If it's glitter, or looks like glitter, or reminds me of glitter, burn it." "If people become celebrities by being stupid, I'd be a star." "Ashlynn, I pray one day you can live up to my legend." "All you need is a boy who loves Jesus and knows how to make a waffle." "Why is all you talk about Doctor Phil?" and finally, "Hey, if you ever quote me, make sure it gets me money. I don't dish out these pellets of wisdom for doodly squat."
I can’t remember saying these things, but looking back, they are some of my proudest moments. I’m not bragging on myself as a paragon
of happy dad, but my feeling so proud of my daughter’s enjoyment of my
goofy quips confirmed to me the lesson of this article. Children want happy dad.


Travis Echols , CRPC®, CSA
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